Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

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Rey
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Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#21 Post by Rey » Fri Oct 25, 2019 9:06 am

23th of oct.

I have been sitting here all day.. looking at the water, feeling the sun on my skin as life and world expand before my eyes. I don’t even feel like dancing… I hurt him so much!... so much that i can not bear to think of it. I have never seen him like that - raging, angry, out of control... never known that he could feel so…. strongly. Always he seems detached but there’s a burning underneath and i saw it let loose - the despair and frustration and as always i was the cause of it.


By the lord of light and dark…. I do not know where to go from here. My world - the world, i have been avoiding all my life, that has nuw snuck up on me in the form of Starlight and Ravian, is now falling apart and it’s more than i can handle. I spent so many years avoiding being fixed by anything, knowing that i would only cause trouble for those poor souls that ended up caring… Now i see the results of giving in to the desire to belong and there’s little i can do. I have failed them, failed him and from here i don’t know where to go. I did promise him not to give up… i did, but i don’t know how i can not.

Moonlight - your gentle presence may soothe me. I have seen the silver light in your heart, i have felt the powers that hold you up when sadness is about to consume you. I know the kindness that is underneath your controlled manners. Please talk to me… let me apologise, for i hurt you the most…
I want to bathe in your silver, reaching for the comfort of a light i don’t have and you offer it so willingly. I can’t take it for i know that if i do that, the way i do it, is bad.. wrong. I can’t share your light but through you i might have a glimpse of it.

You are angry with me… i know. But mostly sad and frustrated. I do that to a lot of people these days but why won’t any of you let me pass on what i know? You are upset because i finally offer it all up freely, I will tell Starlight ALL i know.. every little detail and i will stop trying to hold all the strings connected. I WANT the help Starlight offer. You all know far better than i what to do. There are powers of silver, gold, green and blue in Starlight - i know..I have seen it… felt it myself. And if you all work together you can fix what i can’t. Yet you are now angry… with me.. and i don’t understand why? On one hand you want me to tell all i know but when i try you say that i’m not allowed to give it up… It .. makes.. no sense.

Oh! Moonlight.. You ask “are you sure there is no other way?”. I want to say no.. Tell you that there is no way for me to see.. and then.. With an echo of the silver in you i feel a stir… Something.. is it hope? Could we…. ah.. no.. too risky.. but still. You press on.. Demand i tell you and somehow, stuck in this mess i owe you atleast to speak my mind honestly when you ask…. There might… be... the silhouette of a plan.

Ravian… by calm and thunder. Was the plan always there and i just didn’t see it? Was that the cause of your frustration and despair - that you knew the plan was in me.. I just hadn’t seen it myself yet? It’s risky. Moonlight agrees but she also sees the reason in it. It’s a sketch Rey… don’t go overboard now!.. It’s just a sketch… but it’s there… a rope… a Silver rope in the dark!

I can’t stop with you Moonlight. There are others I‘ve wronged. Others that need to know about Veyla… and the wrong i did… No matter how much it hurts -my pride most of all. I have to be honest and own up… I hope you’ll hear about this Nomine.. Cause i’m owning my ass off!!!

Lumi… Shiny, glorious and sweet Lumi - bane of darkness and also cold and distanced. It’s like looking at a bright light in the dark - one you are never able to reach or feel the warmth from. I need to talk to you, to explain. I probably can’t make you see me any different but at least i can try to lift some weight of my heart and live up to what people say the see in me. I think of you, Raven of my heart. Would you be proud.. Or you Morrigan - stand and rectify! Tikal- communicate, be clear and ask for help. Nomine - let them see that i am more than what they think. Stoen - Do not split, unite. Help keep Starlight together.

I’ve made so many promises and a young dancers foolish pride should never stand in the way of those.. I love them all, SO much!
Thank you for being here, little pea… I am so glad that you and Moonlight stand by me. I need it. Just having you here at my side…. matters.

I can’t change how Lumi sees me, nor the fact that she does not see a fault in her actions and will have me tested but i will not be tested by the light. All i think of is the voidelf, staked by The church of eternal grace - the craze in the eyes of light. How can light be only good when it too does evil? The world is not that simple Lumi, It’s shades of grey and so am i.. I don’t want to burn… don’t let me burn!

I find comfort in your arms Ravian. I see the chord connecting to you and i understand, finally that you are as bound to me as i am to you. I do not understand but i just see it. I feel it. Like a truth beating the rythm of my heart. Destiny it is. Not just mine but also yours. In the love i feel towards you i see the world so clearly. Like a thousand colours springing from a well of life - Like the dance of creation through the world. In your arms, listening to your heartbeat there is peace and calm and finally i can hear and feel myself in ways i never did before. I see how i am a part of a whole - not a disconnected shrapnel of the girl i once was but a moving part in a whole… I just struggle to find the right place for me to fit in.
I want to dance and dance, swirl with the powers swirling in me until i can release what is building inside me. You do that to me. You, raven of my heart- and be it by your side..then i know i will one day find my place.

Was it a slip? You spoke of me as your wife. Wife… I… can’t even say it.. That word. Belonging.. to someone with a title so foreign to me. I know you love me but your world and mine, Ravian.. Can they ever be one? My heart almost stops beating at the idea… you and me.. forever. I know it is already so - You hold my rope but would you stand by me so… formally. I have seen the workings of your social ranking - The Hawkins, Florian.. I am like a simple sparrow between feathered peacocks. I’m not sure you want me as a part of that.. But you are a raven yourself. Can we find our own way.. Do we dare? I brush it off.. for now. How can i not? The implications, emotionally are too big for me.. Was it just a slip of your tongue.. or do you mean it? oh, i can hardly breathe!

You trust in me so strongly that it almost hurts. But you make me see that the faults i have is merely steps on my path - trial and error to find the right way about things. I want to go to Boralus - to the library there, to learn what the witch want to show me “She was in Stormwind, not Boralus” you say - such a simple sentence and it suddenly made sense to me. Indeed she was… Not in Kul Tiras.. but here.. In Stormwind. I did look in The Stormwind keep library but nothing came up. Now i remember… and it’s all so obvious. If i were a witch and had to store secret knowledge i would store it under the very nose of those that despise me. I would hid it in the plain sight of light. Of course… it HAS to be Northshire Abbey. I am SURE that’s where she hid it. How come i did not see? It is the perfect and most unlikely place to hide away secret messages of secret knowledge -in a place guarded by what would burn you if they only knew.
It is under the very nose of light i will look. It is in Northshire Abbey - SO close.. all i need is the damn coin.. and i will be one step closer to knowing more. With it, my raven… I might stand a chance against Hetta when we draw her out of the dark hole she hides in. We will take them down.. I promise.. This will all end soon.

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#22 Post by Rey » Sun Oct 27, 2019 5:21 pm

25th of October

I am not evil!!!!
I’m not!.. i knew.. i have known all along but i was so confused, now i see it clearly once again… I KNOW what i’m about now. It makes sense. There’s more to learn. so much more… an ocean of skill lies ahead but… that one fact is so clear now.. I was never evil.
What i see, is spirit - the beauty of all life all around me. I sense is as if it was a vibrant colour of red in a sea of green. The lady Czele saw this.. So did Anomen and Hayhurst.. They never doubted me they said and Hayhurst said that whatever fel might be there was nothing but a lingering effect that would easilly be redeemed. I trust him! I trust him more than many others that knows the way of the light. Czele said as Pol did.. It is much like the chi of the monks but mine is… grounded she said.. Connected to what lies in me and about. The spirit.. of all. Now i see. Now i see how we are all connected. I do not wander my paths alone like a detached fragment of life. I’m a piece of a puzzle, of a whole - i have just not found my place yet but it does not mean that i don’t belong. We all belong, we’re all connected in the web of life and love. Like the rope connecting me to Ravian and the silver thread of Moonlight. I have always known this, spoken the words but i never knew THAT was the magic in me. She spoke of shamans… those that draw fire from the elements. She said i was an odd inbetween. Not shaman, nor monk - that training takes years and years but i am connected to the chi.. or spirit of the world and now i feel it, all around me.. always.

I know Lumi and Tikal won’t believe it. Others might not either - but i can’t think about that too much. I know for certain that i have stretched out my hand again and again trying to undo the bad i did and trying to understand how others see the world and what they think but too often as i tried i was pushed away with the message that i should not dabble with such things and that i was bad. I never truly was. Czele said that the spirit might have protected me, made me stronger - not weak minded like that nasty warlock said but strong.. Strong because the spirit in me is so. Ravian smiles at this. He says he always knew that and… i should have seen it earlier myself. Now.. there is a calm in my mind that i rarely feel. I look at the water and feel the depths in me open to a calmer, cooler place where things are slowed and becomes less confusion. I sense the water in my mind and now the waves in Eileenas mind makes sense to me… She uses waves crashing on the beach to keep herself safe.. My safety is the depth of myself.. my ocean.. Then the storm rages above.. Here i find will and temper fueled by all the things moving fast - the rythm of the dance of life, my feet moving and the dance that goes on an on in a ring - never ending. Life and death, life and death - renewed and reborn, decayed and dying.
In between the calm and the storm is the steady beating of a heart that is full of love. That is my comfort, my strength. The love i feel to the world and all that lives within it. I have been told to be naive but it’s not what it is. It seems to be but it is the love for the flow and the beauty of all living things - even those others see as enemies, lost and without hope.

I try to tell you this Syra.. Try to make you understand that it’s not always the scolding, the punishment that makes people flourish. It is in the trust and faith we have in one another true development happen. Moonlight made me see, she lifted me up when there was only down.. Ravia and the love i have for him is forever my sanctuary - even when i act like a fool. All the steps i have taken that brought me ahead, stopped me from running, made me trust in myself it has all been becomes someone believed in me, because someone loved me and because someone was willing to tell me what i did wrong and helped me learn from it.


You can demote me.. You can punish me and you can scold me all you want - it will not change the fact that it will be fruitless and too often the doubt such things bring alive clouds the ability to see clearly and people will easily fall to the dark everyone tries to keep them from.
Had i trusted myself.. Veyla would have had a harder time baiting me. Had my mind been clear i might have been able to explain to others in ways to make them understand and the fear Lumi made me feel, the doubt placed upon me was what made me stagger and be blinded, unable to see my own connections. It pushed me to a desperate standstill where my own spirit was dampened.
This clarity however is for me alone. I don’t trust my ability to explain this so i remain silent. One day, maybe…. my words will have more weight. One day maybe i can explain to everyone the dance in my feet and the joy in my heart and how that is what makes me .. me.

I don’t know if i can trust the Lady Czele just yet. she is skilled and clever but also dreadfully bored. I don’t trust people who are bored. They too often seek out trouble for amusement and not out of genuine wish to help. I fear that she too is involved in all this because it is a mystery she wants to solve but what if her thirst for knowledge and power comes before saving the life of Florian or.. Ravian.. Is that a risk i dare take? Though i do trust she spoke the truth about me.. I have to

Anomen too can be flimsy but i KNOW his heart is true. I love you so, so much Anomen. I see the beauty in your soul even when you try to hide it underneath layers of attitude and shifting moods. I know you are true to your words and that if you ever can. You will be there for me. I hope i will never ask too much of you. I hope i will be able to pay you back the trust you have in me. If that day comes, know that i will do all i can for you tenfold over.

Ravian is impatient. I sense it. He is restless like a caged predator, frustrated not to be able to join the hunt. The return of Preston Brianshaw - his comrade in arms from the order does not help. He is both greatly concerned for the orders interest in the family and also i sense the frustrating anger rising in him. He is nearing the limit of what he can take without acting and retaliation. I have put him through so much and i hope the love i give him can make up just a part of what he has given me in support and trust.

Raven of my heart… This scorched sparrow will always be your wingman as we combat the storms ahead!

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#23 Post by Rey » Fri Nov 01, 2019 8:18 am

31st of oct.

I speak to Philip at Ravians Tree.. He is so lovely and i see so much of Ravian i him though the temper i Ravian is stilled in Philip. He’s calm with the hint of sadness of loss. The physical strength in Ravian is no longer in Philip though Moonlight has healed his heart and he looks stronger. Though there is another mental assuredness in the old man - a selfconfidence I admire greatly that Ravian doesn’t yet have. Wonder if Philip was like Ravian or more like Florian? He reminds me of my father. He too had the look of wisdom in his eyes and i don’t mean the studied one. I mean the wisdom of life and age.

Ah Philip - thank you SO much for agreeing to our plan. You don’t know how much it means to me. I’m not sure i can handle much more disagreeing. I feel the need to work as a whole again. For things to go my way… Thank you for the trust you put in me. You understand the need but also rely on Moonlights judgement. Ravian and i need to risk a little more. We have to act and we have to do it fast. You and Moonlight have patience but you do not act. That responsibility is on us - not you and when we fail the guilt will be ours too.

I ponder all these things as i wander the streets of Stormwind. I used to walk these cobbled stones so much more than i do these days. My mind wander. The feeling of the flute in my hand calms me and allowing the notes to flow from it, over the water of the canal reminds me that i’m still just afterall a dancer and a musician. I hear the two next to me speak. Absentmindedly i listen as i play. did they just mention looking for Starlight? My heart skips a beat - has it come to this? My fear actually making me wary to strangers? The elf seems lovely, the man next to her less so. He is indifferent, distanced and works too hard to look the act. She likes the music but has taken a vow of silence so talking is hard. Necrea the silent… and Arius.

Lovely people still. Syra talked to Necrea and i play to her The song of Starlight. Did i forget my reasons for joining Starlight? No. It’s still so very true. Even now as troubled as everything may be, my fears of facing Nomine again, the demotion they decided upon…. It’s still true. Starlight and Ravian. Always Ravia in the end!

Arius though. He needs a friend too - everyone needs friends, lovely. Even large, annoying warrior types with big helmets on. We get to talk - you and i. I’m really curious - how come the world has scorn you in such a way that you shut it out like that and no longer see the beauty it still holds. That won’t do! No no no… It’s still so important to me to let people see all the lovely things around them. To dance through the rain and the thunder, to listen to the music of the heart - music full of both joy and pain because that’s what life is all about.

I try to dig deeper, understand him better - every time he pushes me away i just becomes more determined to understand what’s under the tinhelmet. He and Moonlight know one another and he upset her…. that’s not easily done.. so what is it!??

You….. are… what??? ohhh boy…. That’s some news. I will need to talk to Anomen about it. Listen to his story too and hopefully help.
If my past caught up to me like this, wanting to apologise and make amends then i would accept it - openly, willingly and with a soaring heart. I’m just not quite sure Anomen sees it like that.

The night is closing in and there’s a moon high above. I used to work these hours, dancing and drinking, playing music - now those careless and ignorant time seems more like a distant past. Jas told me a time would come when i would try to find my place. He was unsure if it was with Starlight.. Now i see what he meant. He also said i was hiding my true potential… I wonder if he was right
I WAS running away doing that, hiding in the music and the festivities so i did not have to address my own value as i’ve been forced to now? So what’s the verdict, little Rey? Do you have a value worth mentioning? Ravian thinks you do, Anomen, Moonlight and Nomine too…. I fear facing him again. There are so many levels of shame and yet i also have a more confirmed inner strength.. I am not evil!

Wonder what he’s been up to? Why did he leave us all like this? There are so many sides to the gem that is Nomine. Like obsidian with glittering surfaces, catching the sun but in itself darkened and you can’t peer into it - it merely reflects like he reflects what we do. I wonder how much of the man is still there under the mantle of leadership… Can i get to see more? Will he allow me?

He’ll most surely scold me - they all have been and i deserve it. I just hope he’ll also see what i try to do and somehow take pride in the fact that i DID manage to look beyond Veylas lure and the witches plot to make me fall. I did…. really feel the wrong of it and no matter how much i have ruined relations to everyone… I still care for them and i did try to say i was sorry. The witches however is still at large and i’m not sure they understand the importance of stopping them. I’ll see it done - still - one way or another. It is still my destiny although maybe less mine to act upon. Maybe I’m more like the schemer in the background - asking others to do what i can’t… I don’t know but i’ll need the calm of the waters to get me through that meeting with Nomine.. when it comes.

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#24 Post by Rey » Mon Nov 11, 2019 7:16 pm

4th of nov.

What is a hero? Someone willing to sacrifice themselves needlessly? Someone that with no reason risk too much out of a selfish desire? I don’t agree. A hero is one that is willing to go beyond what others might. One who will do what it takes to end things and who is willing to shoulder the consequenses that follows. I’m no hero. I am too afraid to fail, to afraid to make mistakes - i trust myself too little.

I do not belong at this pathfinder training at all but i’m desperate to learn as much as i can as fast as possible. There’s so many views i need to understand written and unwritten rules.. or guidelines. It’s all very confusing. One thing is what’s said and another what’s done. The lines are fine and i understand why they have to be since we’re all so different from one another.
I listen to you, boss… finding myself either misunderstanding or simply disagreeing. I guess you’ve reached your conclusions over time and from experience, I got to trust that even though i don’t get it. At least for now.. as I’m in Starlight i’ve got to try to understand.. I do this because i want to do my best.. To prove me… still.. even now.

I’m totally surprised that you offer that coin to me so willingly

It’s hard to focus.. i sense something is amiss.. something is wrong. Anomen… little pea… I sense you’re disturbed, uneasy. Is it Arius and the idea of what it means that he has come or is it something more, something else? And you Moonlight. You look so tired. This won’t work. It will wear you down and you’re too proud to speak of it. I promise you i will work as fast as i can and go as far as i can to end this - for all of us.. I hate seeing you like this - an almost see through version of yourself. You’re so tired that you can hardly stay upright. Is that’s all that’s wrong .. no… it’s not. I see how you move and look between one another - something has happened and you need to speak, even if it hurts. If the three of us can’t stay upright together then it all comes tumbling down!

Ssscchyy.. I’m here Moonlight, don’t cry.. we’re both here. I know the pain and the sorrow you feel. The love was strong, so strong indeed and the pain equals the love. It was the love and the sorrow hiding in your silver that hurt me when we saved Eileena.. not the light.. I see that now.. I understand. The energy in the love, the energy of a heart drenched in sorrow. It’s all parts of life and i felt it so strongly, enhanced by the silver melancholy of your goddess. Now you need me and i promise i’m here… I told you… not running. I see the chord between us, i know that i can not cut that without causing harm to myself as well.

Preston you little sneaky bastard.. What’s with men around me these days? Sneaking up on Syra and i as we’re having a little girltalk. She’s so cute and i think you see it too even though she is also so damn hard. She’s a tough nut but behind the masks so very soft and all she needs is love. Someone to prove to her that not all men are bastards. Some can endure and even handle her when she’s at her worst… I see so much of myself in her. The same doubt, the same confusion, the same fears. She has loved once though.. i never did. Not like that… Will i be the same vulnerable bitterness if he left me. If he just like Tarn… dissapeared. Oh gosh no! no no no… don’t go there.. deep waters , deep breaths.

You scare the shit out of me Preston. You’re a hunter like he was but damn if i know if i can trust you.. Can i? Some parts of you seem so endearing and loyal. You love him too.. i sense it. And then.. There’s the constant shifting as if you play a game that i can’t figure out.. Are you playing games with Syra too? for if you are… hell knows no wrath like a woman scorn.. And also her friend the angry dancer!!

You tell me to bring him a message
Where the wolves howl the hunter shoots twice. wonder what it means.. and why it’s so important

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#25 Post by Rey » Mon Nov 11, 2019 7:17 pm

5th of nov

Today it will happen Moonlight. We dare not wait any longer. We will have to endanger Florian to see if there’s more to learn. We’re blind here, so blind and we’re losing time. You’re so drained and we have hardly had progress while they have plenty chances to plan and to plot and to work spells against us. I know you hate the idea Moonlight but we’ve got to. Ravian is here.. so is Philip. The room is so much full of love that my feet take flight so easily. Florian. Wonderful, bubbly and naive Florian. You have such a beautiful heart - i’m sorry i wrecked it for you. That the witches took our beautiful moments and turned them to ashes of madness. I love the blond hair around your face - you have peace now under Moonlights care and I’m so sorry that i once again will have to break the peace in your heart.

I dance and sway, swirl and twirl, weave and bind. Find the chords that connect and find the truth behind the veils.. This is where it runs - The silver, the light, the green of the land and all that is life. Here is love so strong and the loyalty of family. Friends close and from afar… here it’s all centered… Also.. the darkness lurking. I sense the shadow i see it loom over them all. Connecting to them, reaching! Oh god no Ravian… not you… Not them…. The darkness reach for me too - i feel the greed, the hunger, the claim and i dance my way into the dark… Show me your face, give me your name. What are you?!!

I feel it grasping for me, unable to breathe - the fear, the anger… i want to live.. I trust you moonlight…. I sense you here too. Cut it.. or let me drift. The darkness is… all around me now!

I wake up in your arms, raven of my heart…. This is always where i want to be… if i ever draw my last breath, be it in as i listen to the rythm of your heart.. That strong heart i must protect. I will do so… for it is my destiny.

I saw the darkness. It had the face of Hetta.. An ancestor maybe - one with a claim on all of you. The sleeper will not stop. It wants to live, it wants freedom. It is so close. I fear we will lose the fight soon. Florian is ready to give up and Moonlight is almost sick from what she has to give. If it does not break free soon. Then the coven will attack, i just know it!

A plan. i need a plan.. I will find one. I promise!

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#26 Post by Rey » Mon Nov 11, 2019 7:22 pm

8th of nov

I asked you to help me Pol.. And you too, little pea. I want you to help my mind work through the things i do not understand. I’m so thankful to have you around me, guiding me, helping my mind spark and flare fast enough to think up a plan. They count on it and i’m so afraid to fail them. I can’t bare to look upon Ravians face, knowing i failed, to lose Florian… and to lose Ravians and Philips respect for me. Only one thing is worse than for his love to break.. and that is to see him die. Ah no.. don’t go there, silly dancer. He’ll not die.. you’ll make it so! If you ever had trust in anything in the entire world then at least trust in that.
I must in some time of my life has done something good. For a man like him does not come for no reason at all. If that’s so… Then the good that shon on me… might help me shine for him, for them too.

Pol.. strong, wise, goodhearted pandaren. Your advice is grounded and well founded in your knowledge about the Chi, the Sha and the witches of the Drust. I’m so glad i came to you looking for aid. Anomen.. You don’t know… like me we just tumble down the hill, trying our best to stay alive and do what we find is best but i draw strength from you, your friendship and the trust you have in me… Thank you, little pea!

Pol tells me of the Chi so alike my own… powers - oh gosh that sounds so strange to say.. powers… I have POWERS!… nah… not really. Doesn’t fit me much. Though… whatever i do is alike the Chi and so.. the darkness could be like the Sha?

Then Pol tell me about these Hozens. They use masks to draw out the sha from people that has been taken over by the sha…. bad mojo taking away their own will - sounds familiar? If the Hozen - silly monkeylike beings can use crude masks to do this, then why should i not be able to do the same. The sleeper will reach for me again, i’m sure. I can lure it… So if i let it into my dance, make it swirl and whirl with me, inviting it to feast upon the dance of life itself, my love for Ravian, for the world. The joy of my dance, of life, the scent of fresh grass and the salty seas. My love for the sun on my skin…. If i lure it to dance… Then through me the mask might suck it up and bind it there for later to be destroyed by Lumi or Varric.

It’s dangerous, i know. I don’t hide that fact but i’ll not tell him exactly how much a danger. The mask will have to be strong enough.. hard work - made from special wood and with special animal teeth. To be able to bind the spell as the witch told me…. i will have to make it myself and i’ll stop at nothing to make it perfect and strong.. Strong enough to keep my promise to him - not to die without a fight. Please lords of light and dark… if it be so. At least let him love again.

I will set out to build such a mask.. ‘ll learn myself the bindings and i will dance til i drop or until this ends to ensure it will stop.
Nomine you promise me that if i do this. If i manage to weaken the coven and Hetta You, Preston and the others will form a strike team and you will go there, find them and obliterate them once and for all.. Never again will the burden of the coven loom over any of the Marwanus. Florian will be free and Ravian will be out of danger.

And you promise me too Preston. I know you care for Ravian, trust him. Behind the masquerade of banter i see a good man and i bet that is who Ravian sees too. I will trust that man and it is also that man i can see loving Syra - she just doesn’t know it yet.
You promise me too that you will go there. Help him by doing what a hunter does best…. Kill them all!

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#27 Post by Rey » Mon Dec 02, 2019 6:24 am

13th of nov

It was not Todds fault??!!!

I know you guys are upset with me for getting into trouble again. It wasn’t intentional - never is but don’t blame Todd. She did all she could to keep me safe and she was helping me getting what i needed for the mask. It’s not her fault that Darkshore is a dangerous place. We did manage to get the claws and the teeth i need - A sacrifice paid in blood it seems. Thank goodness Moonlight was around - I can always trust her. Now… I am on my way to preparing the mask, Finally!

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#28 Post by Rey » Mon Dec 02, 2019 6:26 am

11th of nov

I’m meeting with the lady Czele again.. I’ll try not to ask myself how this old voidelf, warlock lady is to be trusted when i could not be… I’ll try not to think about how she, bored out of her mind and with all her powers are in this just because it’s… fun… to her. This is no joke. Their lives are no joke and i most certainly don’t trust her. Ravian and Nomine both say i’ll have to get all the help i can. That she’s valuable to the success… I see a danger and i will stick to that notion but they’re also right. We know too little and i’m desperate to know more. She speaks of the damned vessel again.. like a container for the powers connected to the stillborn. I bet that connection is all Hetta. That elf sure knows a lot of things. Imagine how old she is, how much she’s seen.. no wonder she’s endlessly bored - she’s forgotten how to live life. So hellbent on understanding all corners of it that she no longer just feels it, sense it… Shame.. Shame to waste so much life on so little.

We agree however.. I will lure the Sleeper, she will bind it in the mask. Then she will use the powers from the vessel to bind it there too until we can set the souls free without tumbling houses over - yeah.. she can do that too, smartass voidelf!

While we take care of that.. The strike team will move in and deal with a hopefully weakened Hetta and her minions…. sounds so easy, right - i bet it won’t be!

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#29 Post by Rey » Mon Dec 02, 2019 6:30 am

14th of nov

Got the wood for the mask! Yay… took ages but finally got a druid to help me aswel as Pol and Anomen.. When first Necrea joined in, suddenly i was flanked by both anadelonbrin and Tikal…. doing elfish-druidish stuff… But I got it. I felt the tree and it seemed right. Can’t explain it… just a feeling - somehow i knew which branch to take.. Now i just need a few little details. Gems enhanced with magic for focus. The gold from my brothers treasure to gild it. It is the only connection i have to my family if not those ties should strengthen me now.. then when? It’s not like i’d use that gold anyway...Now it will do good for Ravian and one more ghost from my past will hopefully dissolve, one more step closer to freedom and into his arms.

The work ahead scares the daylight out of me. I can do wrong in so many places. Shoot i never did this before. How is it even possible for me to get it right? Stop! Don’t go there… people trust you, silly girl! They expect you to deliver. Damn…. I feel like walking out now… Looking at all these things i have collected… the task at hand. But then again… Ravian, Florian, Philip, Moonlight, Anomen, Syra, Devvy, Morrigan, Pol….. I can’t run!

Rey
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 pm

Re: Reys (un)Reliable Ramblings

#30 Post by Rey » Mon Dec 02, 2019 6:38 am

26th of nov

This wait is killing me, I’m losing my mind. Now I know what you feel Ravian. How every moment goes on for hours simply because there’s nothing you CAN do but wait. Every moment passing is also one moment more where Hetta can prepare and The Sleeper grows stronger. One moment more may be one moment too late. I know we must wait for everyone to be ready. Moonlight is holding on with her fingertips, Florian is fighting, Ravian is trying, like me, not to go insane.

I finished the mask. It’s great and I’ve danced and danced for it, hoping to attune whatever magic in it to me and the magic in me toit. I need to bring it to various people for blessing but apart from that… it’s done. I even sorted the outfit to go with it… I know it’s not needed but I have to look the part I’m going to play. Makes me feel better - more prepared.

Ravian has been so sweet and attentive. He’s really trying to help me through this, support me. I’m trying my best to keep my mind off things and the ball the other night was great too. I just didn’t have Ravian by my side. He would have disliked it anyway. Too many people and too fancy. Anomen did not feel too well about it either. I’m pretty sure he stayed for me even though i was all over the place. A night like this I seem to become the social butterfly Philip at first believed me to be and I can’t blame them for what they see. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Before I would have loved a night like this. I would have danced with everyone and I would have drunk wine, flirted and in the end spent the night in the arms of a handsome stranger….. Now….all that kept running through my mind whenever a handsome stranger spoke to me was “He is not Ravian”. It’s so odd and so silly. It’s like he’s transforming me and I don’t know what to do about it… Can it be so that one man can change the entire perspective of ones world and if it’s so how the hell do I fit in?. I did enjoy the evening though and I think, in the end Anomen did too. He even danced with Miern. I love that man… I hope he will find his own peace and happiness, in time.

A demon hunter came to me. He sought me out through the crowds. He said he could feel a lingering on me… in me. I did not tell him about the demoness. Shrugged it off with a smile and misdirected him with a playful talk. Wonder if others might feel it too. I really do need to get Hayhurst to cleanse me. Wonder how he’s doing. He’s not been around much lately, sadly.

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