The Ravings of a Mad Man (Anomen's Journal)

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Anomen
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Re: The Ravings of a Mad Man (Anomen's Journal)

#51 Post by Anomen » Fri Oct 25, 2019 4:48 pm

*I'm broken, I'm beaten, I'm mistreaten and I'm torn.*

You know, after that talk...
It doesn't hurt so much anymore.
I'll find someone else eventually.
...Still hurts.

Thinking about everything that's going on, I'm surprised I have managed to keep up with some things.
Reya wants me to help her.
Like she even had to ask, hah.
She'll always have me at her side.
Because after all, two peas in a pod, right?
With you till the end of the line and then some.

I need to seek out Mirna.
See if she thought of anything about how she didn't freeze up last time.
I've been thinking about it a bit myself and I only see a possibility of it being her doing it out of worry.
Though... there's another possibility but I don't think that that is plausible.
After all, why would she feel like that about me?

On a side note...
I keep seeing a man that seems familiar to me...
Black armour with a fitting helmet.
Why can't I remember...
Seems to be new in town, constantly looking around.
Never seems to notice me, must probably be too busy with his sight seeing.
And that sword stares back at me when he turns his back to me.
Keeps blinking at me.
What the fuck?

(There's nothing on the page besides the written words)

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Anomen
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Re: The Ravings of a Mad Man (Anomen's Journal)

#52 Post by Anomen » Tue Nov 12, 2019 11:20 am

*One big, happy, dysfunctional family*

I was talking with Arius in front of the gates of Stormwind, trying to help him decide on what he should do from now on.
Well, I did not expect to see her running up to me and almost tackling me.
It was Marisa, she finally went to come see me.
She was crying with joy as she couldn't even manage to speak with how excited she was.
Meanwhile, Arius just looked at us with a raised eyebrow and I told him who she was.
He introduced himself and she looked at him with shock before looking back at me.
I couldn't contain my laughter as she straight up punched him in the face before pulling him in for a hug.
Arius returned the hug after wiping away a bit of blood and he softly chuckled as well.
We spent a long while talking and discussing things.
Marisa was surprised to hear about everything from both me and Arius, a sad look on her face until I cheered her up by talking about Ejlah and Sienna.
Then she told us that she'd be moving in to the city as well and that she hoped to run in to our friends.
Arius immediately looked at me and made a comment about me being the only one with friends.
We went for a walk through the city and made some jokes about each other.
Eventually, we got to the canals and Arius made a comment that I didn't really appreciate...
Well, I think he didn't appreciate being pushed in the canal, either but oh well.
After lugging him out, he decided to call it a night and he went home, not before glaring at me however.
Marisa and I went to a quiet spot before taking the chance to talk with each other.

She asked me about how I was doing and if I was happy.
I responded that I didn't know.
As I'm writing this, I"m still thinking about it....
I am happy when I'm with certain people.
Varric and Philias, Ejlah and Sienna, Reya and Moonlight, Arius and Marisa.
But when I'm alone... I still feel awful.
I feel the weight of everything that I carry with me.
However... I have people that keep me standing.
And I am so glad to have them.
No matter what comes, I'll protect them.
Because I want to.
I won't die for you guys.... No, I'll live for you.

(At the bottom of the page there is a drawing of Anomen, Arius and Marisa huddled together. They are all smiling)

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Anomen
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Re: The Ravings of a Mad Man (Anomen's Journal)

#53 Post by Anomen » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:41 pm

*I can't believe I'm standing here at all, I can't believe I made it this far, On my way with a smile on my face, See the top and I'm not falling off*

When I saw Nomine look at me and then I heard my name mentioned, I was expecting another scolding.
For what reason, I didn't know... though, I always do stuff that means I deserve to get that.
But as Nomine kept speaking, I began to realize that it wasn't a scolding at all.
Wondering what he was getting at, I was surprised when he said that I'd be a full member if I accepted it.
Of course I would accept!
Starlight is my family.
Made plans to go have a celebration afterwards.

I was the first to arrive, not a surprise.
Already I had heard people saying they wouldn't come over the stone.
Bah... Hearing those two trying to make me have my celebration with someone's recruitment spiel...
Makes me wonder if she really wants to be friends as she makes it seems like.
If I really still am important in some way to her... Guess I should stop trying to make it all work and just let it slowly die out.
But I didn't let it get to me as I just tried to have fun with everyone who was there.
Fun night of drinking, playing games, dancing with Ellbry and just stupid talk.
As if there was no care in the world.
...If only that was true.

(At the bottom there is a drawing of a star shaped pin with a glowing blue gem in the middle of it)

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Anomen
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Re: The Ravings of a Mad Man (Anomen's Journal)

#54 Post by Anomen » Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:00 pm

*I swear with all my heart, every word I write for you is true and I won't hesitate to give my all for you.*

It was a horrible experience to see.
For five years, I got tortured every day.
For five years, I prayed for death.
For five years, I spent every moment in pain.
And still, nothing that happened in those five years could compare to the pain of having to watch the one I love be tortured like that while I had to stand by and watch.

I tried to bargain for Ejlah's freedom but to no avail.
All they want is knowledge, they don't even care about who she is... they just want the markings on her skin.
And now... now I have to do a job for them to at least be allowed to watch over her while they do their... thing.
When they left and I pulled her in to my arms to carry her to bed, I felt sick.
She felt so cold, so limp...
I laid her down, helped her gather her bearings a little and rushed to check on Sienna when Ejlah was concerned.
She was still sleeping but I could hear a crash coming from my room.
I closed the door and rushed back to find Ejlah on the ground, very distraught about Sienna's safety.
After putting her back to bed, we had a long talk about everything.
About Sienna's and my own safety, about the robed people and about... about us.
For what felt like the umpteenth time, it seemed like she wanted out.

I was scared but also frustrated with how all of this was going so... I asked her again.
I asked her what she wanted to do with everything, what she wanted to do with us.
She seemed to fall back in to her previous habit and belief that she didn't matter.
That she didn't have the right to do something as simple as wanting something.
With pain, I told her how much I loved her.
How much I want her to be there at my side, for us to be the parents Sienna needs together.
And for the first time since I have started to try to get her to be herself... she seemed to open up.
She wanted me to show that the dream she has is more than just that.
So.... I sat down with her and told her just how much I wanted to be with her.
That I would fight for her until the very end.
And to proof this, I handed her the stone with part of my soul in it.
Of course, this was just a test to see how she would react.
The real thing I wanted to give her...

I grabbed the box with the last jewelry of House Barrin.
And I gave it to her.
The look she had as she looked over the necklace, earrings and the rings was wonderful to see.
And then I took the chance I had.
I offered her one of the rings.
She looked so shocked, tears filling up her beautiful eyes as I kneeled down before her.
I swore that I would do whatever I could to make her happy.
And after helping her dismiss all of the doubts that she wasn't good enough, that I should reconsider... She said yes.
She asked me to not tell anyone until that robed Order had been dealt with.
Until we knew she was safe.
Well... I kind of told Aldus already but he knows to keep quiet about it.

I swear that I will fight for you, Ejlah.
For both you and Sienna.
Together we will be a family... and together we will get through anything that comes for us.

(At the bottom of the page there is a drawing of two rings, both are made out of gold and have a beautiful blue crystal embedded in them)

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Anomen
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Re: The Ravings of a Mad Man (Anomen's Journal)

#55 Post by Anomen » Sun Dec 15, 2019 2:24 pm

(some of Anomen's thoughts during the Witch Hunt)

By the Light, of course it had to be the only shirt I had in my bag.
Of course it had to be hers and now it's riddled with holes and burn marks.
I have to find something to cover up or else I'll end up getti- What the f...
Can't see or breath... Is that...
Illina, no, you're gone, Sunshine and I made sure of that... didn't we?
It's.... Damn, my stomach...
No, you're not taking me...
I'm me... I know I am...
...Was it all for nothing...
Am I just doomed to forever live in fear...
In fear of her coming back...
Wait... a warm feel... Re- What just....
Where is it, I can't feel it...
Where are you...

-------------------

...Why... why can't I find you, I reach out and out but....
..Haze everywhere, no rest, nothing...
Brother... Please, help me...
Thank you...
Thank you...

-------------------

Fuck, this water feels awful.
First I get my wounds healed through song, then through flowers and then through some random stuff.
Still can't reach her, should ask on stone.
....she....
no... no... no...
That can't be...
This isn't happening,,,
I... I... I'm sorry, Reya...
Why....

-------------------

Gods, what is this vile taste...
My eyes, they fucking hurt...
Cheeks are wet, can barely see.
Preston?
Fuck, I feel like shit...
Reya...
Syra seems to be fine, at least.
All of this shit going on...
Flying home now.
I swear, I'll do whatever I can to make sure you are back where you belong, my dear Reya.

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