Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

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Chit
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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#41 Post by Chit » Sun Oct 21, 2018 2:19 pm

I stabbed Jingtei to make her give me the bag of bits I need to save everyone
But Pol grabbed it an they all tried to catch me an I hadda run
I shoulda gone sly an stole it later but THERE IS NO TIME

Jingtei just like the big chunky farmers' kids at school that never went hungry. Poke poke poke from the moment I arrived
Yer late
Yer stupid
Yer irresponsible
Yer a crappy parent not to be trusted with a baby
Yer rubbish I am better bigger richer prettier smarter stronger than you are


Went to Morrigan's barn. I need help against the insects to save Starlight an Stormwind an I made a mistake an Starlight is hunting me
Toss up; will she help me defeat the insects, or hand me in?
Turns out the answer is she will not give me up but she will not help me neither.

She says people are strange. I had not noticed it but she told me Anne thinks we are kids an she is the mother. I thought she was just arsing around
She says Black Stoen is back an the last time it was becos we was cursed an no one knew it
Lumi has stopped bein all right an wrong
Morrigan is hangin around her beggin fer a smile an a pat on the head an a roll in the hay

If Black Stoen is back are all of Starlight cursed?
Is that why I hadda stick Jingtei?

If ya ever get a tiny thing of yer own they grab it from ya an throw it to each other laffin cos ya cannot get it
Snatch the one new hair ribbon ya ever got an hold it above yer head an watch ya dance an try to reach it an then they toss it up into the tree where ya hafta watch from the classroom while it gets grey an soiled over months until it blows away
The grownups tell ya that ya cannot look after stuff and don't deserve new stuff and they make ya wear clothes the kids laff at becos other kids wore em an threw em out

Jingtei holdin the bag of bits over my head and laffin watchin me dance to get em


I CANNOT BE DOIN WITH ALL OF THIS
The insects are eating Azerite and will be coming fer us We gotta get machines built an tested an ready to use flamethrowers an electric fryers an insect sprays
I cannot rely on no gnome army that don't exist except in Devvy's head. Like Morrigan says, tell it to the King, sure he'll send an army

I feel this terrible need to rush even when I hear Nomine an officers on the stone
No one believes me an they will die for it

I gotta do the dirty jobs so others can keep their hands clean.

Morrigan has started echoes in my head an nuthing feels right.
If Black Stoen is back are we all cursed?
Even me?
It bothers me that I dunno how I know about the insects.
I don't remember seein it or havin someone tell me
Am I losin my shit?

There is only one way I can think of to find out
Morrigan aint intrested in helpin
Too busy trying to win against Stoen an dive into the flame that burns
Can't risk askin anyone else
They wanna lock me up an I gotta take action

My heart is sick fer Plume red blood on his white feathers

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#42 Post by Chit » Mon Nov 05, 2018 5:20 pm

Somethin's up with Syra. Even with my head not on straight I can tell when she's worried about somethin.

Still tryin to figure out what to do about me an Jingtei. Went to the costume ball an tried to pretend it dint happen, but my heart was not in it.
Seemed like evry time someone come in, we was talkin about Jingtei bein unwell. Then after, Lumi wanted to talk to me about Morrigan. Told me she DINT heal Jingtei after I stabbed her.The blade was in her deep, an them idiots tried to jump me an it waggled about.

The very FIRST thing ya know about stab wounds is Do Not Take Out The Blade. Otherwise they bleed out in short order. But there was healers there, Lumi is a damned BATTLE HEALER. I made sure they were close when I took out the blade and done a runner.
But the curse made her not do a thing.
Stoen had to bandage her an fly her to some healers. Apparently it was a hellish journey an a close run thing.
If I'd of known, I wouldn't just of turned up to the party an pretended nuthin had happened.

Hope the advice I gave Lumi on Morrigan was good.
Not sure I should be givin any advice to anyone until I have fixed my own problems.

I short-changed Syra with top of the head advice. I was bashin stuff workin fer the King. Needed to do it to feel ok about myself.
Wasn't really listenin.
I'm really off my game.

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#43 Post by Chit » Mon Dec 03, 2018 11:43 am

Saw Syra on the mission. Turned out she saved the day with fake SI-7 documents, so Stoen an her could make sure there was a safe nest to return to.

Would of liked to talk to Syra, any updates. But that weren't gonna happen with me stickin to Morrigan like glue.

Except when it counted which was hard. I hated sittin in a bush waitin fer her to get it done. Fightin scares me shitless an the only way I know to handle it is to run towards it an let the rage an cold steel take over. No stone, no eyes on the ground, no intel. I coulda taken out them two guards easy, chopped off what he was waggling haha. Not part of Lumi's plan. Yeah right. But there is such a thing as morale.
Kept my mouth shut, be a good girl Chit sit down quiet an don't disrupt the class.

Lumi made the the right choice, not lettin me go up on that hill with Todd. I might of disobeyed Our Leader if I hadda watch disaster go down.
He was clever though. Briefin it in public to Starlight like that made it harder to argue the toss. I am too used to playin solitaire. If there was no chance of savin Morrigan I would not go in. But sometimes there is a chance an then ya gotta make yer own mind up. He would himself. But he reminded me that if I went in others might go in after me, like with the Death Knight. An not all of em would size up the fight right and it would be disaster goin down, but a bigger mess.

Starlight is a tool he spent time buildin up an should not be destroyed.

I wonder if he has figured out yet that one result of him encouragin Morrigan to be around me is that her habit of callin him a moron is beginning to rub off on me.

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#44 Post by Chit » Thu May 30, 2019 7:39 pm

I wanted to crush him. I had been watching Morrigan do it, the fun she had.
I LIKED the sound he made when his mended nose broke again.

All those times people like him talked like that to scum like me. It was good to have the upper hand. Makes me feel like a warrior.

He cares fer his own family an will crush other families an kids fer tuppence worth of advantage to his own family.
He'll give an 8-year old girl as a plaything to his asshole son who likes to torture puppies.
CRUNCH.
It makes me happy but it means nuthin in his head so convinced is he of how right he is an how we are scum.
Nomine pulled away the chance to put hoofprints on im. He looked at me an saw I wanted it too much.

Told Nomine I will be investigatin the son. Talkin to the driver.

But first there is Morrigan's gift to me.
She gave it to me back when my head was straight an I was worth givin a gift to. It touched me in my heart.

Afterwards I found out Nomine told her to do it. He already knew the pieces of news I brought as gifts.
Gifts are fragile things an life is hard an unyieldin. Like glass dropping onto stone.

With Morrigan's gift I got what I need. I have set up an appointment with the Void Elf.
It could go well.
But if I don't get the Me that don't give a fuck out of my head it could go horribly wrong.

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#45 Post by Chit » Fri Aug 16, 2019 6:53 pm

Sitting on the roofs, at Nomine’s house.
Been here before. Dunno if I will come here again.

I took Eileena’s hand an lent her my face so she knew we were real. It was easy finding the words to tell her she was safe in the heart of Starlight. Easy to follow the crowd that took her back to the house in Stormwind. Suggested they give her some space an a chance to rest.

It’s what I would want. But maybe she would of bin happier with a crowd of familiar voices. Often I find it easy to get inside people’s heads. Not with Eileena. Too much self-interest blinds me.

I can hear her moving about inside the darkened house. Feeling her way. Most things still in place, sometimes a bump where things have been moved out of the place she set them in, long ago. Sort of thing a woman needs to concentrate on, recreating the sense of place, not the sort of thing you want people hanging about and interrupting with idle chitchat.

Nomine and Eileena. Back together again.
Wonder if it is what they both want.
Wonder if they are wondering the same thing.
Eileena left the man. Why did I install her back into his home years later?
It is only one of his homes, maybe it don’t matter so much.

A light is on, voices, beams are creaking beneath me. Time to go away. A long way away.
Maybe for a long time.

I feel all churned up inside.
It’s hard to know why.
There is guilt, an defiance. And there is bruised pride. And that old old feelin of rejection.

It was easy finding the words to welcome Eileena back home to Starlight.
Hard to find other words to say.

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#46 Post by Chit » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:16 pm

So, I opened up to Eileena. We had some plain words. It was not fun, but it was probly good. Too much could of stayed under the table, whisperin in our heads. I saw her hand tremble and I asked her to hold mine and offered my song.

I dunno what it meant to her, but for me it was being tired of fighting for Nomine, of resisting her. I usedta be willing to fight fer her if needed cos Nomine wanted it but that is all burnt out of me now. I wanted her to know who I am. That I wished her no harm.

Turned out to be a bigger thing than I expected it to be. Just being me. I just..
Just felt I dint care anymore what peple thought.
Holdin Eileena's hand, feeling my drained blood grow stronger.
It was somehow restful.
I left feelin strong an her hands was trembling less.

***
This diary entry is resumed in different ink, apparently some days later.

Came back from bein away thinkin of Morrigan an Eileena.
I don't know how to find Morrigan these days since her barn is taken. An she is not one to come calling at an inn to find me.
I wish I had a house of my own again, like in the old days in Darnassus.

Went over the roofs to Nomine's house in Stormwind, dropping silent to the ground. Windows open, an I hear their voices. Morrigan. Nomine. Eileena.
A bigger plan, it seems. More threads.

Eileena is to listen to Morrigan's song, help her to heal, using her healing that is not of light nor of void.
Nomine seems to have brought Morrigan around to it, but I can tell by the relaxation in his voice that he is keepin his hands off of his daggers with an effort. Morrigan is a lost child an a tempest of slashing knives an a perpetual loose cannon in society she don't unnerstand.
Eileena treads a sure path with her. The same way I do, that others don't see the way of.
With honesty. Not tryin to bend her.

I hear the singing and it near breaks my heart fer Morrigan.
The healing given is an acorn waiting to flower once Morrigan has felt her way around it.
It might just work.

Eileena is holding Morrigan's hand this time.

Nomine leaves Morrigan with a job, to protect Eileena from the gnome, to kill if needed. Morrigan is always strongest when she is trusted with a job to do. She takes pride in bein a sharp tool and will not fail.
Nomine leaves Eileena with a job unspoken. He trusts her with Morrigan, to build on the fragile link, to help her heal an find her place.

It’s all part of the bigger plan.
I watch him walk away. Doesn’t spot me this time. Perhaps my thoughts are more hidden.

When Nomine told Morrigan to spend time around Chit, she thought he was tellin her she would be a good influence on Chit.
When she told me about it, I figgered he thought I would be a good influence on Morrigan.
An then we became friends an I thought he'd made a mistake an we was becoming an axis that was gonna be hard to handle.
I dint see the bigger plan. That was onlie phase one. Phase two started just now with Morrigan's hand in Eileena's.
A net of relationships to tame this bird.
I wonder who will be next. How Morrigan will change as she heals.

Keetee.
Nomine.
Morrigan.
Peple always move on an leave me.

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#47 Post by Chit » Sun Sep 08, 2019 12:18 pm

Talked to Eileena again. She is worrying about stuff. Told her I’d be honest, answer her questions if I could. She is swimming inna rough sea an not knowin the direction of land.

I answered her questions about Morrigan an Nomine. Told her of the bet, the book, the void. Makin her see the bigger picture. She dint think my feelin about a rope to hold people was stupid. That don’t make my feelin true. Maybe it just helps the one who feels they are holdin onto a rope. That if only they beleve enough in a person, hold onto the good and true that is in them, that it will help em turn aside from the darkness wen it starts to pull em in. I never stopped beleeving in Anadelonbrin and it brought her back from the Emrald Dream. She told me so. But I don’t know if it works if the person dismisses it.

Maybe the thought sticks like a burr to some small part of himself. It is the darkness in him that looked at me an told me not to believe, back when he was breaking Sinthya down night after night in the small house with Morrigan an me listenin on the roof. He has bin walkin the edge of night fer a long time now, blacknesses looking into eachother an still he is there at the lighthouse evry week.

Somethin hit me like a shock last night as I hung out in the shadows at Eileena’s house keepin an eye out fer unwelcome visitors an thinkin about what we said.

Maybe it is not that peple leave me. Maybe it is me that is leavin them.

I walked away from bein Nomine’s righthand man. He made it easy fer me to go.
Just because I ain't an officer now don't mean I should stop being his frend.
Like Morrigan, he ain’t one to come calling.
Don’t mean that either of em don’t want me to come to them.

Maybe I let Keetee down when she hadda fight in the Dreem again an again. She did not tell me she was goin back or fight fer me to still be Warden to her body left behind in the Barrows. I thought she left without tellin me cos I done a bad job. But maybe fightin for a human to be Warden again was a battle too much an she needed to save her strength fer the Dreem.

Maybe someone else needed to look after her more. Maybe someone who lost his sons in the Dreem an needed a Cat an a Tree to search an bring em home. Shando Everbreeze. I fought him so hard cos he was a teecher an I fear all teechers becos they put me in a horrible place. I never went back to find out if his sons was found or to see if he needed enything, or just to drink tea.

I can sense wen people pull back an my pride makes me turn away from any chance that they might knock me down. Especially if they are important to me.

Did I give up holdin the rope fer ya Keetee? I feel it is still there, sticking like some burr to a small part of me. Maybe I need to go fight fer the right to check that insects are not on yer body in the Barrows. Maybe I need to go find Shando Everbreeze.

I wanted to show Morrigan what frends could be. Maybe I do not really know.
Maybe she needs me now more than ever.

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#48 Post by Chit » Sat Sep 14, 2019 1:10 pm

My mind is in Kayos. That means it is tumblin around an around like them machines for makin pebbles shiny.
Sometimes I feel mad an sometimes hurting its all mixed up.
Morrigan wantin to fight an sayin my thing was sitting around talking. I did not like to hear it. Peple hold a mirror up to ya an ya do not like what ya see.
Fer years I kept my lips shut behind a stupid look an now it seems my thoughts are spilling out.
Maybe I should just hit stuff like Syra.

Morrigan says that Nomine beat her up to calm her down. Haven't I gottit yet?
Round an round and round my hed it goes over an over.

Nomine's poem with his lover lost an found.
Eileena makin the chance to talk.
Makes me restless.

Saw two big black Cats stalkin through the flat fountain in the Park while I was waitin fer the poetry chat to be over.
Made me think of Shand'o Everbreeze an Tikal and tryin to unnerstand the Balance.
Made me think of my old friend an wish I could stalk alongside her in a space where words ain't important.
Anadelonbrin, my Keetee, where are ya now? Didya find his sons an was they changed?
The Dreem changes evryone an it looked like streamers of madness to us humans.
Where once there was friendship there is silence.
Drop a stone down a well an listen fer the splash.
All ya hear is the motor grindin an the stones tumbling.

Two black cats walkin together like Tikal and Liathene. It makes me reely sad that it is an adventure too far fer me to unnerstand the chase of prey or peck at a mouse or how Balance truly works. Balance is a grey magic that feels more right to me than holy light.
I make random words about wishin humans could be druids, an wishin I could be a Cat like Keetee. Liathene jumps on my words like prey and spits out 'humans cannot be druids cos all they want is to be a kitty'. Says she could probly teach me in 20 years cos that's what it takes to learn.

Random grinding sharpens to sweet rage wen she trashes all my sadnesses and my wishin fer a direction to follow fer the rest of my life. Holdin me up to laffter as a pussycat lover.
I wanted to bite off her sour head like wen Keetee splashed with blood laid out all the bodies of her kills to spell out my name.

Long hours in the Barrows, knowing I was there on suffrance becos I cannot be taught and cannot be a druid, cleanin Keetee's body of insects, grooming her and talkin, holdin her to her promise to come home from the Dreem.

Talkin to Shando Everbreese trying to unnerstand what Tikal tried to teach me, about the Balance an radishes.

Liathene was spoilin fer a fight an I am the one to give it to her with a sharp blade. I would HURT her no matter what damage she put on me. But Nomine talked words on the stone to stop it. Eileena an him have things to talk of that turn my hed over an over but always he has one ear on the stone. One ear to be the officer an tell us to quit fightin with dancin words.
I did not wanna hear that from him.
Always an interruption to his life.

Not an officer anymore an I can say what I want on the stone.

Syra's pickin up the cup, becomin an officer. Nomine gettin wat he wanted, a dynasty. New way of trainin with 3 trials. But he's bin trainin her ever since she decked him wen she was 16 an tracked down the rogue father that left her mum carryin the baby.
Syra's gonna be the boss of me.
Of us all.

Officering aint an easy path, but its hard to walk away from.
Keetee said it was hard to get the officer outta yer soul, I feel it, the doors are closed to me shuttin me out from the other side.
I can act out, but I get officered fer doin it an that is salt in the cut.

Pebbles grating sticking grinding round an round in my hed tumblin over an over.
I have battle dummies to punish.
Talkin is not all I do.

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#49 Post by Chit » Sat Sep 21, 2019 4:40 pm

In the middle of a clean sheet of paper are the following words, surrounded by clumsy drawings of flowers and stars.

I am reelly happy

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

#50 Post by Chit » Thu Sep 26, 2019 11:39 am

I remember the warm sun gentle Wakin me in the morning feeling myself unfold into the warm day armour dropping off me.

There was Hidden Pools filled with big fish that tickled my legs when I swam an dived. Big colourful butterflies swooping around us all colours. Big fat fireflies like bumble bees like chain lights after dark. Evrything humming an glowing and fluttering an growing from rich dark soil.

There was fruit to pick and springs to drink from an Keetee comin home proud with a small fresh kill.

I was surrounded by love an I opened like a flower
Is this wat it feels like to be a happy kid?

Whatever happens this is a shining golden space
I will remember it ferever

Time to strap on my armour
Time to tell Keetee the truth

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