On balance and privacy (from the guild meeting 2019 10 21)

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Anadelonbrin
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On balance and privacy (from the guild meeting 2019 10 21)

#1 Post by Anadelonbrin » Tue Oct 22, 2019 12:26 am

When people share lives, like we do in Starlight, there is always going to be friction. A part of what makes it possible to co-exist is compromise. This means a bit of give and take. It would be good if people were to reflect on this. What am I taking? What am I giving? It is easy to get caught up in our own situations to the point where we fail to see that we are actually taking a lot from others. Taking is not always a bad thing. We are like family. We help each other out. Helping someone can feel very meaningful. It is nice to be able to do something for someone else. But there has to be a balance. It can not always be the same people giving and giving and the same people taking and taking.

Sometimes, there is an emergency. We have seen how well we can work as a team when that happens. But in order to be that kind of team, we also need to trust each other. Trust is not built solely on rushing to someone’s aid over and over. There has to be room to breathe and heal in between the rescues. There has to be room to build relationships outside of immediate danger.

I understand that several of us have agendas that are very urgent to us. But we also have to remember that our situation is not the only situation. My troubles are not the only troubles. Other people have their lives, their own ups and downs. I can not expect that other people will always have the time and energy to step in and deal with my troubles. And if I want others to help me, I also have to be able to give something in return. Perhaps I can not do something to help them with a particular problem, but I can still give other things. Like respect. Like taking the time to understand them. Like listening to their side without immediately getting defensive or protective of my own issues. And if I ask for knowledge, I should be prepared to share in kind.

Part of this is also letting others have their moment. Even if I have things that are important to me that I want to deal with, I must also be willing to step back and not put my business in every other situation. This is particularly important when we are on a mission. Look around, see what state others are in. And report injuries to healers immediately and let them do their job.

When it comes to respect, we need to speak of boundaries. Just because someone else knows something you are not entitled to gain that knowledge. Especially not if you are not willing to give as much in return. Many of us have dedicated a lifetime to learning in our respective fields. This does not come with an obligation to share what we have learned. And it certainly is not up for grabs without asking.

One’s mind is a most private thing. Trying to invade it without permission just as bad as, if not worse than invading their body without asking. It is a very serious matter, especially considering that there are several among us who have had horrible experiences in that area. I would advise everyone to approach such things with extreme care and utmost respect and never, under any circumstances, attempt to reach into the mind of another without express permission. It may have extreme consequences. Death included. This is especially important during stressful times, such as when we are on a mission, when there is already enough tension as it is.

Thank you for your time.

~Anadelonbrin Heartfang

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