A brand new journal, barely scuffed on the edges.

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Liathene
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2017 8:19 am

A brand new journal, barely scuffed on the edges.

#1 Post by Liathene » Mon Aug 27, 2018 8:31 pm

Dear Diary

So I have decided, finally, to keep one.
I saw a stranger in the Brennadam Inn jotting down their thoughts on their day before bedtime, and... I don't know. I guess I thought I should give it a go. See, I can't sleep. For the first time in my life, I am worn down by thoughts and memories, and can't seem to quiet them enough.
I have to deal with the burning of my ancestral home.
Regardless of not growing up there as a child, I grew fond of it later. I became a better druid there, I bonded with my people, I came to appreciate all that we, as Kal'dorei, are, and what we had built.
It's gone now.
I couldn't save it.
I saw it burn, felt the heat of the flames on every inch of my body, breath scorching, ears deafened by the fire's roar. So much screaming.
I can't forget long enough to sleep. Children screaming, my mother's orphanage, innocent animals... all dead, and I couldn't save them.
I can't sleep.
So I work instead. Not sure it's healthy, but my time - all of my time - is spent trying to save and help as many as possible. I feel guilty about socializing, about resting, even about sitting down to write this while I eat dinner.
So I'm gonna stop for now, and see if it feels better tomorrow. Maybe, over time, it'll help.

-Lia

Liathene
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2017 8:19 am

Re: A brand new journal, barely scuffed on the edges.

#2 Post by Liathene » Fri Jan 18, 2019 10:42 am

Dear Diary

I almost threw you away. Every day is still hard. Sometimes I wish to go back in time. But that wouldn't be helpful.
Lately, I've been seeing the refugees' situation get worse in Stormwind. There aren't enough rations to both feed the army and them. There aren't enough materials to make sure they can have clothes on their backs. And now, after months of living in tents and on the streets, things won't hold much longer.

So, I've moved on from my former ideas. Giving them a few fish here and there simply isn't going to cut it. It isn't enough.
Instead, I've been building my network of trade. So far, I've found another druid who is skillful in gathering materials I can't, and a priest who is training as a tailor. I'm working on more contacts as well, funding their training in skills which might then be used to provide for the refugees directly, or indirectly through trading in Boralus. So far, I think this could really be something. As long as my contacts are trustworthy, we can make a difference for people in need.

-Lia

Liathene
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2017 8:19 am

Re: A brand new journal, barely scuffed on the edges.

#3 Post by Liathene » Tue Mar 19, 2019 7:13 pm

Diary..

Nazmir is a dreadful place. I try not to go, but there is work to be done there. The air is heavy with moisture and the light is always dim in a sickly sort of way. Darkshore used to feel dim, not dreary though.. but the name fits, sure... but this place... it's like the swamp of sorrows in the Eastern Kingdoms. Dreadful and gloomy.

I spent too long there. I spent too long killing trolls that were minding their own business for the most part.. aggressive, sure, they were, but.. who wouldn't be? The leaders of the Alliance decided we had to invade Nazmir to create a diversion, in order to leave the enemy fleet undefended. It was a suicide mission. It required each of us to kill so many more to our number..
It felt like...

*page is full of half-written words, crossed out, and blotches of tears and blood*

*Next dry, clean-ish page*

I don't know how to say it, even having thought it over for hours. But here it is...
I still haven't managed to wash all the blood out of my hair. The inscriptions carved into my armor are still stained with it. I found hairs from them still under my boots.
The problem?
I am a healer. That's who I am. I... I'm supposed to heal people. But I was ordered to kill, and I saw no option to disobey. The Alliance matters to me, and doing everything I can to cripple Sylvanas matters.. because of what she did. She HAS to be brought to justice. But I don't have an army, I'm a part of one.. and others are making the decisions and I disagree with them sometimes, but I know that we all have the love of our people in our hearts and that's why we fight - it's why the leaders and tacticians make these awful choices - awful not because of the.. intent? but because of the consequences of them. Consequences that they fully anticipate. They knew all the soldiers in Nazmir would die. They knew and they told us.
And I went and I fought and I did what I was told, but I didn't like it. I was the person burning their home this time. I was Sylvanas.

... But I'm a healer, right?

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