Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

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Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Sat Oct 05, 2019 1:44 pm

Sometimes the onlie thing ya can do is kick somebodies ass.
Today I come out fightin
I don't think it helped much but at Least we're talkin.
Luckily she was off her forme.
All the talk in Starlight of Morrigan being dangerous an how we will kill her if needed.
Don't peple have EYES
See what she done fer us - askin fer nuthin.
She hides in shadow an listens to yer conversation cos she fears us
what she hears tells her she's right
What can I say. Only that I'll fight her or fight for her.
Not against yer cat she says
Why don't anyone see she loves her horse Thanagor an cherry pie an shiny things
That seein void peple burned alive rattles her an makes her rage an grin
she needs to use her skills a clear place respect
she does the right Thing an an helps Starlight to survive
then they talk about whether she is a person
becos it is easier to kill an it

(There is an angry black ball of scratch marks.)

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:49 pm

The page is blank. There are some ink markings as if a pen has been placed on the page to write, but there are no words.
The page is smudged and waterstained.

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Sun Sep 29, 2019 6:26 pm

I hadda be away. Work to be done. Missed the Pathfinders meetin. Keetee had thought she would go, wonder if she did.

I feel diffrent.

She said, "I don't want us to be broken."
It hurts me when she bursts all over thorns wen I come near her. It hurts her if I talk to Morrigan about her.
I don't want it to be broken neither. There is no need fer us to be broken if we will put in the work.

Strange stuff. Tellin Morrigan how touch is important. I offer her the hug she needs an she tells me "Yer so needy" before she shoots right in to take it.
No, I ain't. Not so much eny more.

Last time I remember strugglin to talk to Keetee over days an weeks. Once wen I gottit wrong I was trying to chase her down, fix it somehow. She flew into Orgrimmar to escape me and tore up orcs, knowin I would not follow her in. I lay awake all night feelin bad fer gettin it wrong, anxiously searching to try to find a way through. I just couldn't make it work.

Now I feel reelly sad fer Keetee's pain and anger. I long fer the simpleness of that sunny place we got dragged out of too soon.
But I know that I dint do anythin wrong in the mess after we dragged ourselves outta the fight. Both my frends was hurt. I had my attention with the one who could be killed by the wrong kinda healing, an not with the healer who could normally fix herself. There was stuff to learn from that, that Keetee wen driven by her heart will give everythin. She is fragile from the Dream. She is Lieutenant Commander Heartfang of the Claw but there is a reason they keep Awakeners close in the weeks after they wake up. She is is fragile where I am used to seein her indestructible.

Keetee wants to kill Her old enemy an prevent her from learnin stuff she could use against us. All the bad stuff is raw to her like it happened yesterday.
I felt like that 7 years ago. Things have changed. Morrigan an me are teechin eachother.

If it ain't to be broken, we gotta work on it.
That is gonna take two.

I feel diffrent now.
Stronger.

Is it a real feelin? Or am I just putting up walls cos of feelin mad with Keetee for judgin me wrong?
It don't have to be broken. It don't.
But maybe I am not entirely who she thinks I am any more
Maybe I never was
Maybe she ain't who I think she is neither

Nuthin is simple. It is a maze that we tread with silent feet.

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Fri Sep 27, 2019 6:59 pm

I finally found some guts to go on the stone to find out where Keetee was. She was talkin to Annie. Thats important stuff.
Later I found her.

Keetee is angry an hurting. She tole me that she had promised not to attack Morrigan but she had not promised to die fer her. I said I would not ask that of her but she said I HAD.

I dint know how bad she was when I asked her to heal
I dint know she would stagger into the Emerald Dreamway seekin Shan’do Everbreese an fall down to sleep
I dint know the Nightmare feeds on bad emotions like the sha and would twine her into the ground with roots while she slept.

They are callin her tainted an want to throw her out but the Shan’do will not let em.
Shando helped her when she was a cub an they put her inna cage he's gonna help her now
Keetee is not a monster
Morrigan is not a monster

They are my frends

When Keetee said the important thing I ran off cryin.
I dint know if I was happy or sad
I dunno why it hurts so much an I feel so scared when I cannot hide wat I am feelin.

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Thu Sep 26, 2019 11:42 am

We come out of Valshera straight into a fight

We came because Keetee wanted to kill Eileena’s torturer but she never got the chance. She held off the demons on her own an took the brunt of the roof falling an broke apart the hole to climb through to get to him but Tikal an Chey an Morrigan got the kill. She went to eat im an got my flame thrower in her face I was too weak to hold it up proper an I dint expect her to eat the little fucker

All of Starlight is drained of life an hurt an wounded an I made it through without nuthin but scratches. Just wobbly from losin the life force. An then it was all over an we was lookin to the wounded an I fucked up an it is broken an evry thing is ruined

Morrigan is not dyin an Keetee survived She has gone to the Emerald Dreamway an has no words for me Nomine would say I did good an Tahrina an Fio are witnesses

Why did I not see Keetee was hurt bad until she had nuthin left to give

I remember Keetee runnin from me straight to the heart of Orgrimmar the last time I fucked up an tried to go after her an talk

I can’t
too hard

I need a warm place where no one will find me
all I want is sleep

Letter to Nomine then throw the stone away. Four words to let im know I am not urgent on his list of troubles.

Safe Gone to ground

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Thu Sep 26, 2019 11:39 am

I remember the warm sun gentle Wakin me in the morning feeling myself unfold into the warm day armour dropping off me.

There was Hidden Pools filled with big fish that tickled my legs when I swam an dived. Big colourful butterflies swooping around us all colours. Big fat fireflies like bumble bees like chain lights after dark. Evrything humming an glowing and fluttering an growing from rich dark soil.

There was fruit to pick and springs to drink from an Keetee comin home proud with a small fresh kill.

I was surrounded by love an I opened like a flower
Is this wat it feels like to be a happy kid?

Whatever happens this is a shining golden space
I will remember it ferever

Time to strap on my armour
Time to tell Keetee the truth

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Sat Sep 21, 2019 4:40 pm

In the middle of a clean sheet of paper are the following words, surrounded by clumsy drawings of flowers and stars.

I am reelly happy

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Sat Sep 14, 2019 1:10 pm

My mind is in Kayos. That means it is tumblin around an around like them machines for makin pebbles shiny.
Sometimes I feel mad an sometimes hurting its all mixed up.
Morrigan wantin to fight an sayin my thing was sitting around talking. I did not like to hear it. Peple hold a mirror up to ya an ya do not like what ya see.
Fer years I kept my lips shut behind a stupid look an now it seems my thoughts are spilling out.
Maybe I should just hit stuff like Syra.

Morrigan says that Nomine beat her up to calm her down. Haven't I gottit yet?
Round an round and round my hed it goes over an over.

Nomine's poem with his lover lost an found.
Eileena makin the chance to talk.
Makes me restless.

Saw two big black Cats stalkin through the flat fountain in the Park while I was waitin fer the poetry chat to be over.
Made me think of Shand'o Everbreeze an Tikal and tryin to unnerstand the Balance.
Made me think of my old friend an wish I could stalk alongside her in a space where words ain't important.
Anadelonbrin, my Keetee, where are ya now? Didya find his sons an was they changed?
The Dreem changes evryone an it looked like streamers of madness to us humans.
Where once there was friendship there is silence.
Drop a stone down a well an listen fer the splash.
All ya hear is the motor grindin an the stones tumbling.

Two black cats walkin together like Tikal and Liathene. It makes me reely sad that it is an adventure too far fer me to unnerstand the chase of prey or peck at a mouse or how Balance truly works. Balance is a grey magic that feels more right to me than holy light.
I make random words about wishin humans could be druids, an wishin I could be a Cat like Keetee. Liathene jumps on my words like prey and spits out 'humans cannot be druids cos all they want is to be a kitty'. Says she could probly teach me in 20 years cos that's what it takes to learn.

Random grinding sharpens to sweet rage wen she trashes all my sadnesses and my wishin fer a direction to follow fer the rest of my life. Holdin me up to laffter as a pussycat lover.
I wanted to bite off her sour head like wen Keetee splashed with blood laid out all the bodies of her kills to spell out my name.

Long hours in the Barrows, knowing I was there on suffrance becos I cannot be taught and cannot be a druid, cleanin Keetee's body of insects, grooming her and talkin, holdin her to her promise to come home from the Dreem.

Talkin to Shando Everbreese trying to unnerstand what Tikal tried to teach me, about the Balance an radishes.

Liathene was spoilin fer a fight an I am the one to give it to her with a sharp blade. I would HURT her no matter what damage she put on me. But Nomine talked words on the stone to stop it. Eileena an him have things to talk of that turn my hed over an over but always he has one ear on the stone. One ear to be the officer an tell us to quit fightin with dancin words.
I did not wanna hear that from him.
Always an interruption to his life.

Not an officer anymore an I can say what I want on the stone.

Syra's pickin up the cup, becomin an officer. Nomine gettin wat he wanted, a dynasty. New way of trainin with 3 trials. But he's bin trainin her ever since she decked him wen she was 16 an tracked down the rogue father that left her mum carryin the baby.
Syra's gonna be the boss of me.
Of us all.

Officering aint an easy path, but its hard to walk away from.
Keetee said it was hard to get the officer outta yer soul, I feel it, the doors are closed to me shuttin me out from the other side.
I can act out, but I get officered fer doin it an that is salt in the cut.

Pebbles grating sticking grinding round an round in my hed tumblin over an over.
I have battle dummies to punish.
Talkin is not all I do.

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Sun Sep 08, 2019 12:18 pm

Talked to Eileena again. She is worrying about stuff. Told her I’d be honest, answer her questions if I could. She is swimming inna rough sea an not knowin the direction of land.

I answered her questions about Morrigan an Nomine. Told her of the bet, the book, the void. Makin her see the bigger picture. She dint think my feelin about a rope to hold people was stupid. That don’t make my feelin true. Maybe it just helps the one who feels they are holdin onto a rope. That if only they beleve enough in a person, hold onto the good and true that is in them, that it will help em turn aside from the darkness wen it starts to pull em in. I never stopped beleeving in Anadelonbrin and it brought her back from the Emrald Dream. She told me so. But I don’t know if it works if the person dismisses it.

Maybe the thought sticks like a burr to some small part of himself. It is the darkness in him that looked at me an told me not to believe, back when he was breaking Sinthya down night after night in the small house with Morrigan an me listenin on the roof. He has bin walkin the edge of night fer a long time now, blacknesses looking into eachother an still he is there at the lighthouse evry week.

Somethin hit me like a shock last night as I hung out in the shadows at Eileena’s house keepin an eye out fer unwelcome visitors an thinkin about what we said.

Maybe it is not that peple leave me. Maybe it is me that is leavin them.

I walked away from bein Nomine’s righthand man. He made it easy fer me to go.
Just because I ain't an officer now don't mean I should stop being his frend.
Like Morrigan, he ain’t one to come calling.
Don’t mean that either of em don’t want me to come to them.

Maybe I let Keetee down when she hadda fight in the Dreem again an again. She did not tell me she was goin back or fight fer me to still be Warden to her body left behind in the Barrows. I thought she left without tellin me cos I done a bad job. But maybe fightin for a human to be Warden again was a battle too much an she needed to save her strength fer the Dreem.

Maybe someone else needed to look after her more. Maybe someone who lost his sons in the Dreem an needed a Cat an a Tree to search an bring em home. Shando Everbreeze. I fought him so hard cos he was a teecher an I fear all teechers becos they put me in a horrible place. I never went back to find out if his sons was found or to see if he needed enything, or just to drink tea.

I can sense wen people pull back an my pride makes me turn away from any chance that they might knock me down. Especially if they are important to me.

Did I give up holdin the rope fer ya Keetee? I feel it is still there, sticking like some burr to a small part of me. Maybe I need to go fight fer the right to check that insects are not on yer body in the Barrows. Maybe I need to go find Shando Everbreeze.

I wanted to show Morrigan what frends could be. Maybe I do not really know.
Maybe she needs me now more than ever.

Re: Chit's new spiral bound reporter's notebook

by Chit » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:16 pm

So, I opened up to Eileena. We had some plain words. It was not fun, but it was probly good. Too much could of stayed under the table, whisperin in our heads. I saw her hand tremble and I asked her to hold mine and offered my song.

I dunno what it meant to her, but for me it was being tired of fighting for Nomine, of resisting her. I usedta be willing to fight fer her if needed cos Nomine wanted it but that is all burnt out of me now. I wanted her to know who I am. That I wished her no harm.

Turned out to be a bigger thing than I expected it to be. Just being me. I just..
Just felt I dint care anymore what peple thought.
Holdin Eileena's hand, feeling my drained blood grow stronger.
It was somehow restful.
I left feelin strong an her hands was trembling less.

***
This diary entry is resumed in different ink, apparently some days later.

Came back from bein away thinkin of Morrigan an Eileena.
I don't know how to find Morrigan these days since her barn is taken. An she is not one to come calling at an inn to find me.
I wish I had a house of my own again, like in the old days in Darnassus.

Went over the roofs to Nomine's house in Stormwind, dropping silent to the ground. Windows open, an I hear their voices. Morrigan. Nomine. Eileena.
A bigger plan, it seems. More threads.

Eileena is to listen to Morrigan's song, help her to heal, using her healing that is not of light nor of void.
Nomine seems to have brought Morrigan around to it, but I can tell by the relaxation in his voice that he is keepin his hands off of his daggers with an effort. Morrigan is a lost child an a tempest of slashing knives an a perpetual loose cannon in society she don't unnerstand.
Eileena treads a sure path with her. The same way I do, that others don't see the way of.
With honesty. Not tryin to bend her.

I hear the singing and it near breaks my heart fer Morrigan.
The healing given is an acorn waiting to flower once Morrigan has felt her way around it.
It might just work.

Eileena is holding Morrigan's hand this time.

Nomine leaves Morrigan with a job, to protect Eileena from the gnome, to kill if needed. Morrigan is always strongest when she is trusted with a job to do. She takes pride in bein a sharp tool and will not fail.
Nomine leaves Eileena with a job unspoken. He trusts her with Morrigan, to build on the fragile link, to help her heal an find her place.

It’s all part of the bigger plan.
I watch him walk away. Doesn’t spot me this time. Perhaps my thoughts are more hidden.

When Nomine told Morrigan to spend time around Chit, she thought he was tellin her she would be a good influence on Chit.
When she told me about it, I figgered he thought I would be a good influence on Morrigan.
An then we became friends an I thought he'd made a mistake an we was becoming an axis that was gonna be hard to handle.
I dint see the bigger plan. That was onlie phase one. Phase two started just now with Morrigan's hand in Eileena's.
A net of relationships to tame this bird.
I wonder who will be next. How Morrigan will change as she heals.

Keetee.
Nomine.
Morrigan.
Peple always move on an leave me.

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