Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

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Syrawenn
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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#41 Post by Syrawenn » Wed Oct 31, 2018 7:17 am

Friggin Netherbats, I pay ya, so ya do the effin job!
Is it really so hard to find a name?
Okay so yea, it is cause I didn't find it...fair enough.
Still.
I PAY an they can go places I can't go, so they got more chances.

Come on guys, I need to know.
Can hardly go tell dad with Morrigan in his shade all the time.
She'd have a ball.

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Syrawenn
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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#42 Post by Syrawenn » Fri Nov 02, 2018 5:36 am

Skipped on a meet with dad...
Kinda.
I was kinda tied up.
Wonder what he'll make of it.
But damnit, that idiot mighta rang some bells! Someone asked why he was askin! I can't believe there would be any friends left there who'd care, but there ya have it!
Gotta figure another way to find out.
Maybe there's some kind of head of administration somewhere or somethin.

Still no word on the note.
Hope I got the date right.

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Syrawenn
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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#43 Post by Syrawenn » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:23 am

Keep thinkin I see him.
Just about everywhere.
An then they turn an it ain't him.
Screwed up.
I prolly screwed up.
Dunno where he went in the first place, but hey, I tend to disappear too so can't blame him.
Just wanna know where
An why
An if he'll ever come back.

How stupid is this?
I can do this alone
But I don't want to.

Can't get Morrigan outta my head either.
WHY did she have to be found?
Why under Starlight care?
WHO CARES!
She should burn for what she did!
Like she burned them others!
An still part of my stupid head is goin like 'did this happen in THIS time too?'
What if it didn't?
An I'm mad for some figment of my twisted memories?
I AM goin mad...I just dunno what's real, what happened, what didn't an I can't really ask.
An so I hide.
Not a great strategy
But it works fer now
Okay it doesn't

So I decide to go to Jingles' party, ya know, takin my mind of weird stuff
Suddenly hear it's costume!
Haven't done costumes since...I dunno, that Winterveil ball I think!
An then Chit takes her distance
I know there was some cursin thing goin on in Starlight, but I dunno what happened.
Bad stuff, I guess, cause she was all 'yea I'm fine'
Gotta be bad then.
Wish I stayed close enough so she'd talk
But I been gone a lot too
An people don't talk to goners.

Guess Seann was right.
I ain't a people person.

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Syrawenn
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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#44 Post by Syrawenn » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:30 pm

Speak of the demon...he showed up, just like that...with the friggin paper I gave those goons to gather some info.
Shit
Fuck
Etcetera

FUCK

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Syrawenn
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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#45 Post by Syrawenn » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:34 pm

Okay
Think this through
Stupid questions get stupid answers
So he's here, he knows where I am
An I got a name now, Anthar, so I can go look myself, yea? No more need fer sneakiness, just speed. I gotta find him. Get the annulment.

Gotta get my head on straight
Not sure when I'm awake
I'm awake, I think.
He says I forget cause I drink
Do I drink too much?
I drink a lot
Sure
an I ferget a lot
okay
help

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Syrawenn
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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#46 Post by Syrawenn » Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:40 pm

So he was DEAD, yea?
An now he's not
Chit knows about these things
but our talks are weird, different
I am not here enough
there's no real talks
just in betweens
shit
he's not dead
an he don't know he was dead
so was that true?
or was it changed?
Or am I just crazy?

He didn't believe me
I said I had people
he said I made em up
they were not there
an they weren't
suddenly silent on the stone
but that was cause they was busy! Nothin else!

Morrigan is too close to dad, an certainly seems too close to Chit whenever there's a meet. Can I still talk to her? Will she tell Morrigan?
Don't need another mindtrick
Already know I suck at this stuff

Shit, I told Chit about Seann.
She wanna scare him. I dunno if that will work. What if he's not really there? What if I made him up?
What if I'm makin it all up?

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Syrawenn
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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#47 Post by Syrawenn » Mon Nov 05, 2018 7:52 am

Okay, ease down.
He musta been there fer real
I don't make that stuff up to pester myself
An he gave me a name that I did not have earlier
An Chit is just busy an that's fine, she got her own stuff goin on.
An that ain't nothin.

So what if I just ask him to have a good siddown an talk this over once an fer all...I mean, I'm a grownup,yea? I don't need no husband to keep me in check or whatever. So what if I could get Seann to help me to find this Anthar fella an we can close this stupid wedding chapter? I mean, Seann don't HAVE to look after me. He could just let it go.
Wonder why he don't.
Is that cause of the threats Ticks made back then in the new when?
Maybe I should talk to Ticks.
Don't think he's been taken in by Morrigan.
He might be safe.

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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#48 Post by Syrawenn » Mon Nov 05, 2018 8:37 pm

Okay, ferget about Ticks.
He just told us Morrigan did more to earn trust than many Starlighters.
Screw it.
I'll solve this myself.

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Syrawenn
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Re: Chaos Continued (ramblings before bedtime)

#49 Post by Syrawenn » Tue Nov 06, 2018 6:59 am

Faulty...
If this is me makin this up, I sure ain't nice...
I'm faulty.
Great.

Called in witnesses.
Dad caught a glimpse.
Pretty sure he did
I hope.
White sleeves, broad back he saw.
Coulda been Sean, right?

I don't understand why he won't leave it alone!
That guy sure never came lookin fer me so I bet he wasn't keen on this thing either! Why force the issue?
Just cause Seann can say I am 'taken care of'?
An what is this crap about draggin me back?
I ain't a small child anymore, Seann!
Cept I let myself be dragged into old discussions...I wanted to tell him about Starlight, about dad, about all the things I could not possibly have made up. An then he brings up the old fights, the mess, mom.
Everythin I could ever feel bad about.
Why?
It was an accident, I know that now.
Right?
An I just fergot tellin him about the good people.

Am I doubtin them?
With the whole Morrigan thing.
Yes.
Maybe tha's why I did not mention em when Seann got on his rant.
But I know they got my back, I KNOW it. Dad came right when I asked fer someone an I'm sure Chit was just friggin busy an...

Sounds like yer tryin to convince yerself more than me.
Dad said that.
Maybe I am.
Maybe I have doubts.
I don't wanna go to guildmeets anymore.
She's always there.
That ain't a guild meet, when everyone has to watch their words.
Is just a friggin play.
If she gets a stone, I'm out.

Yea, so maybe I'm the obsessed one, not them.
But I remember.
Maybe I remember too much.
It's confusin.
I'm confused.

Wanted to bury myself in dad's arms.
Didn't.
Why.
Cause he just gave me an assignment to watch Morrigan when she's gonna play with daggers...

Snowballin, the dragon said.
Is this what he meant?
Did I create this avalanche?
Dunno if I can dig myself out.

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